It's that time again.

It seems that I am in another transitioning moment in my life. I think I feel this way about every 6 months or so about my present and future career/education: sort of in a rut, low motivation, etc.

Sometimes it really frustrates me when I can go from feeling satisfaction with something that I am doing, to a month later when I ask myself "Do I even enjoy this? Am I making the right decision?"

This feelings have a lot to do with the current state of my workplace. A lot of changes are going to be taking place very soon, involving deciding on staying put in my position or challenging myself a little bit in a new one.

I know a lot of it has to do with fear. For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of trying something for fear that I am going to suck at it. An example of this is when I first started at the paper. I would ask and beg and plead for writing assignments, but then when given one I would almost have a panic attack at the thought of being edited. I have since gotten a lot better at not freaking out, but I still can't help it sometimes.

The weird thing is, that through my life thus far I would consider myself an accomplished person. So, amazingly, this fear of mine has not limited me really. I feel like what I am saying makes no sense, but it is what I feel.

I think what I really fear is my life going off course. I spent two years before I moved to Arizona feeling like I was living in complete chaos and so unsure about many things.

I know whatever happens will work out for the best, and thank god I have great people who support me and give me pep talks when I need it.

I guess it is the reality, and sometimes beauty, of life that things don't always go as we plan them. And, sometimes straying from the course can be a great thing. I just need to stop doubting myself. But how do I do that? I guess time, as always, is the answer.